


The #dick fic

by phanpls



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan howell and nick jonas
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3747670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanpls/pseuds/phanpls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of what would have happened if Dan HAD been in London when his buddy Nick Jonas asked...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The #dick fic

**Author's Note:**

> HEY ITS ME AGAIN  
> YES  
> I HAVE HAD THIS REQUESTED AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S BLOODY FUNNY (i hope)  
> I hope you enjoy this piece of work, i put a lot of emotion into it but PLEASE DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY   
> I APOLOGISE TO DAN, PHIL AND NICK JONAS FOR THIS HORRIBLE MASTERPIECE  
> ITS ALL A JOKE AND IF YOU TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY JUST DONT OKAY?  
> also thank you to Georgia for the good pun ;)  
> \- @galacticphan

I’ve seen a lot of questions asking,  
‘What would have happened if Dan WAS in London when Nick asked?’  
Well, today, I hope to recreate exactly what would have happened... through the power of fan fiction. So here it is...  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was a cold, rainy day in London. Dan felt upset because Phil was away, visiting his family in the North. Everything Dan did reminded him of his amazing friend that was absent at the moment; taking the rubbish out... that’s what Phil did. Watching TV... that’s what Phil did. Playing Mario kart... that’s ALSO what Phil did. Dan simply did not know what to do with himself, everything made him upset. So he just abandoned everything and went to sit on the window sill to stare out at the dull, grey street laid out in front of him. He was dangerously close to entering an existential crisis when he was broken away from his thoughts as his phone pinged. 

‘Ughh,’ Dan scoffed at the obnoxious bleep his phone made. Should I ignore it? He questioned himself. It was probably just another annoying verified account mentioning him, although, the temptation to check his phone was eating away at his thoughts. Soon enough, Dan found himself giving in and picking up the phone to check the notification. 5 simple words were printed onto the pixel-covered screen:

‘Hey buddy you in London?’ Dan sighed; it could have been something interesting! He threw his phone back down on the bean bag it had been sat on before, and sat back on the window sill, until he was engulfed by the darkness of the night. As the evening neared, Dan decided to answer the annoyingly-disappointing tweet from earlier which was from- wait! He didn’t check who it was from! As he travelled to pick his phone up, his mind ran through endless possibilities of his favourite accounts that could have tweeted him:

Matt Bellamy

Kanye West

Nick Jonas

Gerard Way

Wait Dan stop! As he got ever-closer to the phone, his heart started racing – and it near enough stopped when he saw the legend that had tweeted him:  
‘@NickJonas: Hey buddy you in London?’  
Dan screamed, ‘YES I FUCKING AM IN LONDON AND YOU’D STILL BETTER BE IN LONDON YOU HUNKY BEAST!’ but he replied with a much calmer,

‘Yeah dude, just dm me ^.^’ Dan spent about 10 minutes debating whether the kawaii emoji was acceptable, or even if he should go into dangerous territory with a winky face.  
He knew the fans would be going crazy; and he didn’t even care. He just waited for the blue message to pop up on the annoyingly-empty dm space that was his and Nick’s private conversation history. Within 2 minutes time, a new message appeared,

‘Hey buddy, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I really enjoyed the teen awards... but it was a bit on show with thousands of people watching... can i possibly come round to yours... or maybe you could come to my hotel?? ;)’ Dan was not sure whether this was a prank, or was THE Nick Jonas REALLY hitting on him? There was only one way to find out...

‘Sounds good man, do you want to come to mine? My address is...’ Dan typed out his address and eagerly waited for a reply, but didn’t get one. He felt oddly disappointed, but not disappointed at the same time, it was a prank all along. Dan was glad he was expecting it or this downfall could have been a lot worse.  
Dan was sat on his bed sniffing away the tears, watching Nick’s music videos and previous cameos on various Disney channel shows. Stop doing this to yourself Dan... Nick doesn’t even care about yo- KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Dan’s negative thoughts were interrupted by an aggressive knock on his front door. He wiped away his tears and put a big smile on his face as he made his way to the door. He swung the door open to see, none other, than Nick Jonas stood on his doorstep. Dan was so happy he could cry, but Nick stopped him before he could,  
‘Buddy!’ he laughed and swung his arms around Dan’s neck. Nick was a lot smaller than Dan, so he was stood on his tip-toes, struggling to relax into the embrace. This hug seemed a lot more loving than the one they had shared on the teen awards stage. Nick pulled away and slammed the door with his foot.   
‘I’ve waited a long time to do this...’ he said confidently as he pressed his lips to Dan’s own. The kiss immediately turned from a loving peck to desperate slobbers, and Dan pressed Nick into the nearest wall and he groaned into his touch,

‘Wait... is Phil home?’ Nick gasped as Dan squeezed his bum, Dan grunted as a way of saying ‘no’ and Nick continued to kiss Dan passionately. The height difference was becoming a problem for both of them, Nick was straining his neck and Dan was hurting his back from bending over, so Dan picked Nick up and Nick wrapped his legs around Dan’s waist. They both giggled and Dan slowly walked over to the bedroom, making sure to kiss Nick for every second of it. As soon as they reached Dan’s room, Dan threw Nick down onto his bed and crawled up on top of him, leaving little kisses up his torso.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
‘Do you really think I should do it?’ Phil asked his mum, his voice shaking uncontrollably; he’d full on broken down after telling her what he had,

‘Yes dear, I think he needs to know...’ she said with a reassuring smile which calmed Phil down slightly. He looked at her, his beautiful blue eyes the colour of oceans, swimming in oceans of their own. 

‘Ok but... I want to do it as soon as possible...’ Phil said sadly, and his mum put her arm on his shoulder and stroked it gently,

‘So why don’t you go home and do it now? I’m sure he’ll understand, and be more than happy,’ she smiled, and he looked shocked,

‘Really mum? I mean, I only got here yesterday...’ she cut off his words by pulling him into a warm, loving hug,

‘Go do it,’ she chucked and Phil thanked her once more, packed his bags, and headed for the train station. He was going to do it. He was going to tell Dan he had feelings for him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
‘Nick Jonas more like Nick BONUS that was amazing babe...’ Dan smiled, looking lovingly eyed at Nick, who was doing the exact same. 

‘Well Dan... can I just say that you truly are on fire...’ they both broke down into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Nick fit in Dan’s arms perfectly, like a puzzle piece that had been missing all of his life. They were meant to be, and Dan was so glad he was here.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was 3am and Phil had finally arrived back in London, and he was in the taxi to the apartment.

‘You seem excited for 3am...’ said that taxi driver nosily, and Phil looked over at him with a big grin on his face,

‘Oh, I’m just about to tell someone I have feelings for them,’ he smiled and looked at the taxi driver who kept the same, blank expression on his face,

‘At 3 bloody am? I would not be happy with that....’ 

‘Well I don’t care what you think, I’m going to tell him I have feelings for him and that’s that!’

‘Well ok then if you think that’s best...’ they stayed quiet for the rest of the journey and when Phil finally arrived home, he hauled his bags out of the boot and hurried up to the front door. He fumbled with his keys and unlocked the door quickly, scurrying up the stairs and into the apartment. He made sure to be quiet as he threw his bags down and slowly made his way to Dan’s room. He could hear snoring. Huh... that’s weird, Dan doesn't usually snore...

He carefully pushed his door open to see Dan asleep in bed. With someone else. Phil was shocked... he felt angry... Dan had betrayed him.  
‘Who the fuck are you?’ he heard a strong American accent coming from under the quilt,  
‘I could be asking the same to you...’ he said, keeping the cool in his voice. The figure sat upright and turned the bedside lamp on. Phil was even more surprised when he saw a topless Nick Jonas staring at him.

‘Nick Jo-‘ 

‘That’s right! I am Nick Jonas. And you’re Phil Lester. That idiot that Dan has to put up with for a living...’ Nick scoffed at Phil’s surprised expression,

‘Shut up! Dan loves me you twat!’

‘If Dan loved you then surely it would be you under these quilts naked with him,’ that was it. That was all Phil needed to hear to make him snap. He ran over to the bedside table and grabbed the lamp in his hand and aggressively swung it into Nick’s head. It smashed and Nick cried out in pain. He stayed quiet after that though,

‘Ni- PHIL WHAT THE FUCK?!’ Dan woke up and was shocked to see the bloody scene in front of him,

‘Dan baby, sshh, it was for the best...’ Phil purred as he rolled Nick’s lifeless body out of Dan’s bed and slipped in next to Dan. ‘It will all be gone in the morning babe...’ Phil closed his eyes and motioned for Dan to come cuddle with him. 

Dan was too tired to complain.


End file.
